sooo, last night at 5:30 i was leaving PG (fire place) and this guy came walkign up and he had locked himself out of his apartment. So since he had gotten to me first....I had to go unlock the office, get his keys, walk him to his apartment, and open his door for him. while walking back (he lives on the 3rd floor) by myself, i got super panicky and really scared. i got into the elevator and was pushing the button to the first floor as fast as I could so it would hurry up and get there. I finally got to the first floor, ran outside, into the office (which was dark), pu the keys away, and left as quickly as possible. The whole time this was happening I was freaking out. The hallway, for me, is the scariest place. It is so long, and I was alone. That was my first time in there since the day of the fire. I couldn't get over it. I tried talking to Will, although he tried he couldn't calm me down. I tried going to the gym but I couldn't get into it...I was there for maybe an hour then I just went home, made some chicken and sat on the couch. Alathea went out with Dustin, I just stayed home and watched tv. I called Will and talked to him for about 30 minutes. I ended up crying a whole bunch cause I was so scared.
I
went to bed about 10:30 and then woke up numerous times throughout the night. I had a dream about fire, which was baisically will's house needed to be evacuated and i was trying to helkp them pack stuff up to leave, and no one was helping me, and Will was getting frustrated with me trying to get him to put his stuff away. His mom, every time she would pull something out would just start reminiscing about it, and his dad was asleep on his chair...It was rough. But I woke up this monring not too tired, and not feeling that bad. We will see what happens next time...
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
i just pee'd in a trash can
Apartments in Don't even worry about it....that's what I thought as I looked around the office here at Sycamore Pines in Downey. That's where I am working today, supposedly I can get this apartment rented in no time. That and the normal girl needed a day off. Oh well, it's overtime, and I am not doing a damn thing. One thing you should know about Sycamore Pines, besides it's sparkling pools and refreshing hot tubs, is that there is no bathroom in the office.What then, should you do if you are faced with the burden of having drank chocolate milk and are working on your second bottle of water? Well I'll tell you, you will have to pee pretty bad.
So sitting here, having to pee so bad it was starting to hurt. I decided that I only had about 30 minutes until I get to go home, and so I thought, "Hmm, what should I do to remedy my situation?" I looked around for a box of tissues, and low and behold I found a roll of paper towels. I am unable to know what brand they were exactly, but that doesn't really matter in this situation. I went to the door, locked it, closed the blinds so as to be alone in my endeavor, pull the trash can behind the desk, unbuttoned my Silence and Noise that I got on sale from Urban Outfitters. Sat down, and let loose.
You would think I should be nervous, but I wasn't. I was relieved. It's interesting peeing and not hearing anything, but only feeling the bag in the trash can get a little tighter because the weight of the urine was so strong. After my good minute and half long pee, which seemed forever, i whipped and then thought, "Man, I feel so much better. But what shall I do to cover the smell that could very well come from my urine being cooped up in this tiny office for the rest of the weekend. I unrolled some more paper towels, put them in the trash can, then reached for the window spray...I sprayed some in there on top of the paper towels, hopefully that will take care of that problem.
If anything I feel better.
Monday, January 22, 2007
i hate rent...
Oh my goodness gracious....my effin rent check from January bounced...I mean for fuck's sake!! So today I have to pay $500, and then next I have to pay rent again!! I am flat freakin broke...Will is nothing but supportive and optimistic. Alathea forgot to pay the gas bill so we had to pay like$100 each to get it turned back on, and her dumb ass didn't wake up so they could turn it on...hopefully they charge her lazy ass...I told her when they were coming...If she didn't go out and get drunk 5 nights a week maybe her or Dustin would have woken up whe the guy was knocking on the front door. Not that I'm too concerned for tonight...I have some microwaveable dishes I could eat. And then there is always cereal and a PB&J...I have to go make a sandwhich now...Luckily at the corporate office they are full of food!!! So I am covered for breakfast and lunch...I miss Will, and I miss financial freedom
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The Beet
So on Tuesday night, instead of going to Alex's bar, I went to newport with Marcie. We ate at Sharky's for Taco Tuesdays (SO GOOD!) and then we walked over to the Blue Beet because I suppose they had 80's dancing. Now the mmusic was straight up 80's...and the DJ did a pretty good job of mixing, although he was only playing his computer, I am pretty sure I didn't see one change in records...He was like 12 or something. Anyways, it was fun I suppose with the exception of being teeny tiny compared to Marcie and the other 8 million 6 foot tall guys that were there. I forgot how much I don't like guys like that...But it was fun none the less. However I was wearing these beautiful yellow heels which are I think about 3 inches high, maybe even 4. Gezz, my toes were like numb by the end of the night. And what didn't make it better is I can't drink right now, so I felt the full hurtingness of my toes all night. But I looked really good.
Friday, January 12, 2007
I feel gross
First off, this thing is being weird. But I suppose I am not too worried about it. Anyways...So my vagina has been being weird lately not to mention I have something weird on my butt hole.
So yesterday I wasn't feeling well at work and so I went home early. After a much needed nap, i decided that I would call the clinic and see if I could get in to see the gyne for a pap smear. Luckily there was an open appointment that day at 3pm. So I ate lunch and then drove over there, a little nervous since my roommate was just diagnosed with HPV. However, although I had no bumps or anything down there, I was still nervous. So I get there, wait around for a long time, then I am finally called into the room. I had been drinking a lot of water so I would be prepared if they wanted a urine sample. I asked if they needed one, and she asked, "why do you have to go?"And I said,"yeah, I have been drinking a lot of water just in case." So she asked if it burned when I peed and I said yes, so they took a urine sample.
As I was waiting for the nurse I was getting more and more nervous looking at the tools they use for a pap smear. Now, although this was my second one, it is never fun.
The lady was nice though, she was talking to me the whole time. however she did go rather quickly, and it kind hurt. I just had to relax. She said I had a lot of discharge, and that indeed it was a hemorrhoid that was on my butt hole. So she took a sample of the discharge and then accidentally put it in the wrong cup. But, since there was so much discharge, she was able to get some off of the little duck thing they stick inside of you. And let me tell you, I looked at that thing it it had a lot of discharge. So she left to look at it under a microscope, and then came back and told me I had a yeast infection, and a bacterial infection which is caused when feces gets into the vagina. And no it's not from butt sex, that's disgusting.
After the fire, I had really bad diarrhea, and so I was pooping like crazy for that whole week after, I think that's when it might have happened, then again, I am always pooping like crazy.
So they gave me some pills for the bacteria, in which I have to take 2 a day for 7 days. And I can't drink the whole time I am on them. And then like regular yeast infection cream, in which you squeeze it up into this thing that looks like a tampon, and then put that thing in the vag, and then push all the stuff into the vag. Afterward, you are supposed to lay down so it doesn't leak all over you.
After I left I called Will to tell him that everything was OK, it's just normal lady stuff. Thank God!
I was so relieved. And I know he was too. He to of been a little nervous. But everything is OK down there, and I am glad.
So I went to the gym, had an amazing workout, was in the best mood ever when I left, went home, made a great dinner, and watched Grey's anatomy. It was a good night. I then had to take my meds. I took the pill with dinner. The pill is not coated and leaves a horrible and gross taste in you mouth. Then when it came time to like brush my teeth and stuff, I did and then did the yeast infection stuff...It was not fun. After it was over I went and laid back down on the couch, and tried not to move. when I had to get up to go to bed, it was kind of leaking a bit, and i tried to get to bed by scooching on my back. It didn't work. But when I tried to get up i could feeling it coming, so I went to the bathroom thinking I could clean myself up, but to no avail, it was coming out, and coming out fast. SO I just hurried to bed, layed down and read for a bit.
After waking up this morning, I of course had to pee, I thought it was all going to come out then. It didn't. I hopped in the shower, not that much came out. It wasn't until after I had gotten to work, and sat for a while, then got up to go the bathroom, that I felt it on my way back. Now i can't stop thinking about it. And how dirty I feel. Maybe not so much dirty, but definitely freaking disgusting.
So I guess there is a pill for you can take for a yeast infection, and I have a doctors appointment today and I am going to ask him about it. Cause I can't really take this much longer. It's horrible.
So yesterday I wasn't feeling well at work and so I went home early. After a much needed nap, i decided that I would call the clinic and see if I could get in to see the gyne for a pap smear. Luckily there was an open appointment that day at 3pm. So I ate lunch and then drove over there, a little nervous since my roommate was just diagnosed with HPV. However, although I had no bumps or anything down there, I was still nervous. So I get there, wait around for a long time, then I am finally called into the room. I had been drinking a lot of water so I would be prepared if they wanted a urine sample. I asked if they needed one, and she asked, "why do you have to go?"And I said,"yeah, I have been drinking a lot of water just in case." So she asked if it burned when I peed and I said yes, so they took a urine sample.
As I was waiting for the nurse I was getting more and more nervous looking at the tools they use for a pap smear. Now, although this was my second one, it is never fun.
The lady was nice though, she was talking to me the whole time. however she did go rather quickly, and it kind hurt. I just had to relax. She said I had a lot of discharge, and that indeed it was a hemorrhoid that was on my butt hole. So she took a sample of the discharge and then accidentally put it in the wrong cup. But, since there was so much discharge, she was able to get some off of the little duck thing they stick inside of you. And let me tell you, I looked at that thing it it had a lot of discharge. So she left to look at it under a microscope, and then came back and told me I had a yeast infection, and a bacterial infection which is caused when feces gets into the vagina. And no it's not from butt sex, that's disgusting.
After the fire, I had really bad diarrhea, and so I was pooping like crazy for that whole week after, I think that's when it might have happened, then again, I am always pooping like crazy.
So they gave me some pills for the bacteria, in which I have to take 2 a day for 7 days. And I can't drink the whole time I am on them. And then like regular yeast infection cream, in which you squeeze it up into this thing that looks like a tampon, and then put that thing in the vag, and then push all the stuff into the vag. Afterward, you are supposed to lay down so it doesn't leak all over you.
After I left I called Will to tell him that everything was OK, it's just normal lady stuff. Thank God!
I was so relieved. And I know he was too. He to of been a little nervous. But everything is OK down there, and I am glad.
So I went to the gym, had an amazing workout, was in the best mood ever when I left, went home, made a great dinner, and watched Grey's anatomy. It was a good night. I then had to take my meds. I took the pill with dinner. The pill is not coated and leaves a horrible and gross taste in you mouth. Then when it came time to like brush my teeth and stuff, I did and then did the yeast infection stuff...It was not fun. After it was over I went and laid back down on the couch, and tried not to move. when I had to get up to go to bed, it was kind of leaking a bit, and i tried to get to bed by scooching on my back. It didn't work. But when I tried to get up i could feeling it coming, so I went to the bathroom thinking I could clean myself up, but to no avail, it was coming out, and coming out fast. SO I just hurried to bed, layed down and read for a bit.
After waking up this morning, I of course had to pee, I thought it was all going to come out then. It didn't. I hopped in the shower, not that much came out. It wasn't until after I had gotten to work, and sat for a while, then got up to go the bathroom, that I felt it on my way back. Now i can't stop thinking about it. And how dirty I feel. Maybe not so much dirty, but definitely freaking disgusting.
So I guess there is a pill for you can take for a yeast infection, and I have a doctors appointment today and I am going to ask him about it. Cause I can't really take this much longer. It's horrible.
Monday, January 8, 2007
Health insurance. Who can afford that?
So, I was expecting to have a decent paycheck, this week. Enough to cover my rent anyways. And I was sorely mistaken. I have $390.00 in the bank, and my rent is $4220.50....SOOOO I don't know what to do. I was thinking about calling my mom. I know she would give me the money, but I hate asking her for money. But I know she would helkp if I needed it.
So about said health insurance...which I was excited to get, because, helloo, safety first. But it is $35 a week. Which comes out to $140 a month. And for someone like me, thats a lot of freakin money. So, I talked to Michelle, my manager I guess, and she said to write an email to Dan, the owner, and copy her on it, asking if there is something we could do about it. I had no idea it would be this much. It makes me want to cancel it. But I know I should have it, but I just really can't afford that.
So since, like always, my main issue is money, I am feeling down in the dumps. I hate that this always happens. I always spend money, and know that I can't, but I just expected to have gotten paid well. I make $10 an hour. That's $400 a week before taxes. I only got paid $319. That's not enough. Even though, before I got my raise I was makign that much. I guess I shouldn't have fucked up by spending money when I went to San Fran. I wonder how much I have in my savings. Probably nothing.
I am just not happy right now. I was really happy in my job before the fire, and now, I have been reduced to a receptionist. And it sucks.
I did see a girl I used to work at Urban OUtfitters with. And she said that the girl who used to be the merchandiser, who loved me, is now the store manager, so I could probably get my job back. But I don't know if I would be gettting paid the same. And there I'd only be getting paid every other week, where as here it's every week, which is nice. So I don't know what to do. I can't afford to take any "me time" away from work.
I wonder if my feeling this way is a result of the fire. Or something else. I don't know. I know the fact that I didn't have any money is my fault. I didn't have to spend money, but I did/ and now I am obviously suffering for it. And I am going to be fucked. Shit Balls man. Total, if my check doesn't clear, I will have to pay over $500. And then after that, I will have to pay rent with a money order. Which would would probably be better because then I know I won't be spending my rent money. I should try taking $100 out every week, and putting it away for rent. That would be better. And then I will be perfectly and completly aware of how m uch I have to spend.
Yes, I will try that. And I will try to be happy at my job.
So about said health insurance...which I was excited to get, because, helloo, safety first. But it is $35 a week. Which comes out to $140 a month. And for someone like me, thats a lot of freakin money. So, I talked to Michelle, my manager I guess, and she said to write an email to Dan, the owner, and copy her on it, asking if there is something we could do about it. I had no idea it would be this much. It makes me want to cancel it. But I know I should have it, but I just really can't afford that.
So since, like always, my main issue is money, I am feeling down in the dumps. I hate that this always happens. I always spend money, and know that I can't, but I just expected to have gotten paid well. I make $10 an hour. That's $400 a week before taxes. I only got paid $319. That's not enough. Even though, before I got my raise I was makign that much. I guess I shouldn't have fucked up by spending money when I went to San Fran. I wonder how much I have in my savings. Probably nothing.
I am just not happy right now. I was really happy in my job before the fire, and now, I have been reduced to a receptionist. And it sucks.
I did see a girl I used to work at Urban OUtfitters with. And she said that the girl who used to be the merchandiser, who loved me, is now the store manager, so I could probably get my job back. But I don't know if I would be gettting paid the same. And there I'd only be getting paid every other week, where as here it's every week, which is nice. So I don't know what to do. I can't afford to take any "me time" away from work.
I wonder if my feeling this way is a result of the fire. Or something else. I don't know. I know the fact that I didn't have any money is my fault. I didn't have to spend money, but I did/ and now I am obviously suffering for it. And I am going to be fucked. Shit Balls man. Total, if my check doesn't clear, I will have to pay over $500. And then after that, I will have to pay rent with a money order. Which would would probably be better because then I know I won't be spending my rent money. I should try taking $100 out every week, and putting it away for rent. That would be better. And then I will be perfectly and completly aware of how m uch I have to spend.
Yes, I will try that. And I will try to be happy at my job.
Friday, January 5, 2007
locks piss me off
Eww, so a few nights ago I had gone to the gym, and I had found a lock in the locker room that wasn't on anything, but it still had the combination on the back. So I took it because I didn't have a lock and I didn't want to keep leaving my stuff in lockers without a lock. Well my roomate and I share share a lot of stuff, and we even go to the same gym. So when I got home, I told her that I had found a lock and the she could use it too if she needed it. I left it on the table in the livingroom, and she used it Wednesday. Not a problem. So thn yesterday, Thursday, I wanted to go to the gym, Alathea wasn't home, and as I was looking for the lock, I decided to call her and see if she had it. She did. And she wasn't coming home. FUCK. I was soooo annoyed. I decided I was just going to go to the gym anyways. And when I say annoyed, I mean I was pissed. and frustrated.I decided to call Will becuase I wanted to vent to him, and it is his duty to listen becuase he's my boyfriend. SO I called him, and the phone was being retarded, which made me even more frustrated. Then my phone rang and it was Will calling me back. I started to tell him, when my other line rang and it was Joe Zino. The thing about Joe is, he's weird.. Not like weird, but weird. Not like D&D weird. But the uncomfortable silence weird. So I knew why he was calling. He was calling becuase his apartment has no gas, and he needs a place to stay. He was staying at Alayna's which is next door because she was staying at our house. However, she moved yesterday. So Joe needs a place to stay. But I didn't want to be around anyone really. So I told him that I would call him after I got out of the gym. So I got back on the phone with Will and told him what happened and how mad and frustrated I was, and then he wasn't taking my side. Like he was defending her and her taking the lock. And that just got me more upset so I just said, "I don't want to talk right now." and hung I hung up on him. He called me back, and was pissed that I hung up on him. Saying that he didn't appreciate that and that I can't get mad at him for having an opinion. I told him that I just didn't want his opinion on this matter, that I just needed him to be on my side. I ended up getting really upset and crying. Then I calmed down, and got off the phone and went into the gym. I worked out pretty hard to get my mind off of it. But I felt bad for being such a jerk to him. So I called him when I got done and apologized. So things are fine, and I am not mad. But I did tell Joe that I didn't want him to come over cause I just wanted to be alone. Also I didn't really want to hang out with him alone.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Christmas!!!
Christmas was so good!! I had such a great time! I stayed the night at Will's then had breakfast and did presents with him and his family. His mom is so cute, she got me a stocking and filled it to the top, lacking nothing that her own family had. I got 2 presents from his parents, so sweet. His mom got me a bracelet from Las Vegas, which I don't really wear bracelets, but I only take this one off in the shower. I am into it for some reason. I like the way it looks. Maybe cause since all I do is sit on the comp I can always see it out of the corner of my eye. She also got me some PJ's from Kohls, she's so sweet. Love her.
We then went over to my parent's house and did presents with them. My mom got Will presents. She got him a Star Wars movie, and a Star wars kite. She has never gotten any of my boyfriend's gifts before. She's so sweet. After presents were done there, we all went over to my Aunt Nancy's house. We ate and watched tv, then did presents, played some horse shoes, which neither Kelli, Jay, Will, nor myself knew really how to play, but we did our best. Eventually we went inside to play catchphrase. Let me just say, it was the best thing ever. It was so much fun. There was like 8 of us playing, and we were yelling and man, it was so fun. The next day Will and I went to Target and bought it. That's how good it was.
So concerning presents: I got a bike, new handle bars, and new pedals from Will (best thing ever), then Kelli got me a t-shirts, and a really cool planner. KC got me a book, whic I think I am going to start reading very soon. Mom and dad got me the season six dvds of Sex and the City. Not to mention they had bought me a lap top and nano in like october. Hollie got me some gold ornaments, and some satin PJS, cousin Rachel got me a candle that smells like candy canes, and a really pretty sweater from American Eagle, which I really like a lot, oh, and Heatehr got me the most amazing picture of Pancho Villa. It is glorious.
I think that pretty much sums it up. I hade a good Christmas.
We then went over to my parent's house and did presents with them. My mom got Will presents. She got him a Star Wars movie, and a Star wars kite. She has never gotten any of my boyfriend's gifts before. She's so sweet. After presents were done there, we all went over to my Aunt Nancy's house. We ate and watched tv, then did presents, played some horse shoes, which neither Kelli, Jay, Will, nor myself knew really how to play, but we did our best. Eventually we went inside to play catchphrase. Let me just say, it was the best thing ever. It was so much fun. There was like 8 of us playing, and we were yelling and man, it was so fun. The next day Will and I went to Target and bought it. That's how good it was.
So concerning presents: I got a bike, new handle bars, and new pedals from Will (best thing ever), then Kelli got me a t-shirts, and a really cool planner. KC got me a book, whic I think I am going to start reading very soon. Mom and dad got me the season six dvds of Sex and the City. Not to mention they had bought me a lap top and nano in like october. Hollie got me some gold ornaments, and some satin PJS, cousin Rachel got me a candle that smells like candy canes, and a really pretty sweater from American Eagle, which I really like a lot, oh, and Heatehr got me the most amazing picture of Pancho Villa. It is glorious.
I think that pretty much sums it up. I hade a good Christmas.
since then
So it's been about a month since the fire and I haven't had any breakdowns or anything. I started work again, and so far it has been good. I work in the corporate office, and at first I was sitting at this girl's desk who was on vacation. I was helping contact the tenants from the North side and get them their refund checks back and what not. I felt like I had missed so much being gone, and at fist being at corporate was a little weird, but I am now used to it.
Eventually though, Dan, the owner, decided that he didn't want me working with the tenants as much, he thought it would be too emotional for me or whatever. Which I appreciate his thought, but what else was I supposed to do? Those were my tenants. I care about them, well most of them. And I wanted to help. I still had the chance to help them. But most of my 8 hour days here were filled with staring at the computer and praying for someone to email me cause I was so bored. Normally I would have jo-jacked around the internet, but the desk I was sitting at was right by the bosses offices, so if they were to walk out of the office, they could see my computer screen.
Now, however, I am sitting in the front. Alone. I stare at the door, but at least they can't see my screen before I know they're coming. +
Sitting here though, there was no music. Until, i decided that my ipod headphones were loud enough for me to hear, and quiet enough for it to not be obnoxious. So that's what I have been doing. Nothing really. I am bored, and a little upset that I have been reduced to a secretary. Being a secretary is fine for some people, but not for me. The phone has been ringing so much, it is the most annoying thing ever. And I am now the one is in charge of answering it. It freakin sucks.
That's it really. I will write about new years and Christmas later.
Eventually though, Dan, the owner, decided that he didn't want me working with the tenants as much, he thought it would be too emotional for me or whatever. Which I appreciate his thought, but what else was I supposed to do? Those were my tenants. I care about them, well most of them. And I wanted to help. I still had the chance to help them. But most of my 8 hour days here were filled with staring at the computer and praying for someone to email me cause I was so bored. Normally I would have jo-jacked around the internet, but the desk I was sitting at was right by the bosses offices, so if they were to walk out of the office, they could see my computer screen.
Now, however, I am sitting in the front. Alone. I stare at the door, but at least they can't see my screen before I know they're coming. +
Sitting here though, there was no music. Until, i decided that my ipod headphones were loud enough for me to hear, and quiet enough for it to not be obnoxious. So that's what I have been doing. Nothing really. I am bored, and a little upset that I have been reduced to a secretary. Being a secretary is fine for some people, but not for me. The phone has been ringing so much, it is the most annoying thing ever. And I am now the one is in charge of answering it. It freakin sucks.
That's it really. I will write about new years and Christmas later.
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