i just pee'd in a trash can

Apartments in Don't even worry about it....that's what I thought as I looked around the office here at Sycamore Pines in Downey. That's where I am working today, supposedly I can get this apartment rented in no time. That and the normal girl needed a day off. Oh well, it's overtime, and I am not doing a damn thing.
One thing you should know about Sycamore Pines, besides it's sparkling pools and refreshing hot tubs, is that there is no bathroom in the office.What then, should you do if you are faced with the burden of having drank chocolate milk and are working on your second bottle of water? Well I'll tell you, you will have to pee pretty bad.
So sitting here, having to pee so bad it was starting to hurt. I decided that I only had about 30 minutes until I get to go home, and so I thought, "Hmm, what should I do to remedy my situation?" I looked around for a box of tissues, and low and behold I found a roll of paper towels. I am unable to know what brand they were exactly, but that doesn't really matter in this situation. I went to the door, locked it, closed the blinds so as to be alone in my endeavor, pull the trash can behind the desk, unbuttoned my Silence and Noise that I got on sale from Urban Outfitters. Sat down, and let loose.
You would think I should be nervous, but I wasn't. I was relieved. It's interesting peeing and not hearing anything, but only feeling the bag in the trash can get a little tighter because the weight of the urine was so strong. After my good minute and half long pee, which seemed forever, i whipped and then thought, "Man, I feel so much better. But what shall I do to cover the smell that could very well come from my urine being cooped up in this tiny office for the rest of the weekend. I unrolled some more paper towels, put them in the trash can, then reached for the window spray...I sprayed some in there on top of the paper towels, hopefully that will take care of that problem.
If anything I feel better.

Health insurance. Who can afford that?

So, I was expecting to have a decent paycheck, this week. Enough to cover my rent anyways. And I was sorely mistaken. I have $390.00 in the bank, and my rent is $4220.50....SOOOO I don't know what to do. I was thinking about calling my mom. I know she would give me the money, but I hate asking her for money. But I know she would helkp if I needed it.
So about said health insurance...which I was excited to get, because, helloo, safety first. But it is $35 a week. Which comes out to $140 a month. And for someone like me, thats a lot of freakin money. So, I talked to Michelle, my manager I guess, and she said to write an email to Dan, the owner, and copy her on it, asking if there is something we could do about it. I had no idea it would be this much. It makes me want to cancel it. But I know I should have it, but I just really can't afford that.
So since, like always, my main issue is money, I am feeling down in the dumps. I hate that this always happens. I always spend money, and know that I can't, but I just expected to have gotten paid well. I make $10 an hour. That's $400 a week before taxes. I only got paid $319. That's not enough. Even though, before I got my raise I was makign that much. I guess I shouldn't have fucked up by spending money when I went to San Fran. I wonder how much I have in my savings. Probably nothing.
I am just not happy right now. I was really happy in my job before the fire, and now, I have been reduced to a receptionist. And it sucks.
I did see a girl I used to work at Urban OUtfitters with. And she said that the girl who used to be the merchandiser, who loved me, is now the store manager, so I could probably get my job back. But I don't know if I would be gettting paid the same. And there I'd only be getting paid every other week, where as here it's every week, which is nice. So I don't know what to do. I can't afford to take any "me time" away from work.
I wonder if my feeling this way is a result of the fire. Or something else. I don't know. I know the fact that I didn't have any money is my fault. I didn't have to spend money, but I did/ and now I am obviously suffering for it. And I am going to be fucked. Shit Balls man. Total, if my check doesn't clear, I will have to pay over $500. And then after that, I will have to pay rent with a money order. Which would would probably be better because then I know I won't be spending my rent money. I should try taking $100 out every week, and putting it away for rent. That would be better. And then I will be perfectly and completly aware of how m uch I have to spend.
Yes, I will try that. And I will try to be happy at my job.

since then

So it's been about a month since the fire and I haven't had any breakdowns or anything. I started work again, and so far it has been good. I work in the corporate office, and at first I was sitting at this girl's desk who was on vacation. I was helping contact the tenants from the North side and get them their refund checks back and what not. I felt like I had missed so much being gone, and at fist being at corporate was a little weird, but I am now used to it.
Eventually though, Dan, the owner, decided that he didn't want me working with the tenants as much, he thought it would be too emotional for me or whatever. Which I appreciate his thought, but what else was I supposed to do? Those were my tenants. I care about them, well most of them. And I wanted to help. I still had the chance to help them. But most of my 8 hour days here were filled with staring at the computer and praying for someone to email me cause I was so bored. Normally I would have jo-jacked around the internet, but the desk I was sitting at was right by the bosses offices, so if they were to walk out of the office, they could see my computer screen.
Now, however, I am sitting in the front. Alone. I stare at the door, but at least they can't see my screen before I know they're coming. +
Sitting here though, there was no music. Until, i decided that my ipod headphones were loud enough for me to hear, and quiet enough for it to not be obnoxious. So that's what I have been doing. Nothing really. I am bored, and a little upset that I have been reduced to a secretary. Being a secretary is fine for some people, but not for me. The phone has been ringing so much, it is the most annoying thing ever. And I am now the one is in charge of answering it. It freakin sucks.
That's it really. I will write about new years and Christmas later.